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After Your Spouse Uses Pornography

If your spouse struggles with a pornography addiction, are there ways to survive and find hope for the future?

"The savior doesn't want us to try harder; He wants us to turn to Him sooner."

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What can you do if you discover that your spouse is struggling with pornography? How can you deal with the damaging effects of this realization?

The February 2017 Ensign includes the article “Heartbreak and Hope: When a Spouse Uses Pornography,” which discusses seven vital behaviors that can help you stay mentally and emotionally healthy while your spouse works to heal. Practicing these behaviors can help you on your own road to recovery:

  1. Address the trauma of betrayal, remembering that your spouse’s actions are not your fault. Just as your spouse has chosen to view pornography, he or she must choose to stop. Trying to force your spouse to stop may just cause further problems.
  2. Learn to share your emotions, fears, and concerns with someone you can trust. You must build your own support network to keep yourself healthy.
  3. Rebuild your spiritual confidence by putting your trust in God and remembering to listen to the Holy Ghost.
  4. Get help not only through online or literary sources, but also from religious leaders and qualified mental and marriage therapists. This is help for you alone, in addition to help you may seek with your spouse.
  5. Be open and honest about your journey of healing with those who love and support you.
  6. Set boundaries for yourself and your spouse about how you will discuss problems, how you will approach healing, and how you will function as a couple.
  7. Remember to care for yourself regularly by studying the scriptures, attending church, attending the temple, and seeking personal counseling if necessary. 

Hold to these behaviors, and they will help you recover and find peace.

Read the full article “Heartbreak and Hope: When a Spouse Uses Pornography” in the February 2017 Ensign.

Source: Ensign

—W. Nathan Miller, Mormon Insights

feature image by rodion kutsaev

Find more insights

For additional help, visit the LDS Church’s website Overcoming Pornography.

Consider seeking help through the LDS Church’s Addiction Recovery Program.

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